How to Make a Man Obsessed With You: 21 Proven Tactics

How to Make a Man Obsessed With You: 21 Proven Tactics

How to Make a Man Obsessed with You

So, you want to make a man obsessed with you?  Well, you'd better be careful what you wish for!

Of course, we all secretly want to be worshiped by a man we adore.  It's a wonderful feeling to being truly, deeply loved by a guy that appreciates you for exactly who you are.

So, how do you get your man to think about nothing but you all day?

I've put together some of the things you can do that have been proven to influence the male mind.  I promise you that if you follow the advice in this article you'll drastically improve your chances of driving him crazy about you.

1. Use The Psychology of Love

If you want to make a man obsessed with you it will help to understand the psychology of love.  Behavioral psychology has proven beyond doubt that all our emotions (fear, jealousy, anxiety etc.) can all be influenced by psychological triggers.  

You too can learn how to use mind-control techniques to influence the behavior of other people, including prospective lovers.

You may have been conditioned to believe that love is “fate” or that it “just happens” or that “it’s destiny” and all your stars have to be aligned.

However, the reality is far different – there’s actually a science behind love – and with this secret knowledge, you can use the psychology of love to make any man consider you as a potential lover… even make a man obsessed with you!

Everyone has a unique mental template of what they want in a lover...

it’s like a checklist of attributes and characteristics that you are looking for in a mate.

It’s hidden deep in your subconscious and it was developed unconsciously over time by your value/belief system, sexual experiences, previous relationships etc.  

Your challenge is to use psychology to make your man believe that you tick the boxes on his checklist for his perfect partner.

Of course, I can’t guarantee that these psychological tactics will work but they will definitely increase the chances of him falling in love with you.  

The Psychology of Love

The Psychology of Love

Also, don’t dismiss these tips as being “manipulative” – wearing make-up, push-up bras or using flattering profile photos can be far more manipulative or deceptive than the advice I’m going to suggest here.

Consider this, if you could triple your chances at making someone genuinely fall in love with you, why wouldn’t you try?

How do I Make a Man Obsessed With Me?

If you want to make a man obsessed with you then follow this advice…

Make a man obsessed with you

2. Smile

No surprise, science has proven that a genuine smile increases your attractiveness to the opposite sex.

Typically, men are innately attracted to specific characteristics of the opposite sex and a smiling female face is near the top of the list.

Interestingly, a recent Canadian study, involving 1,084 heterosexual men and women, concluded that women find smiling men less attractive than men who put on a dark, brooding or swaggering look.  However, men were proven to find women who smiled more attractive.

There’s no doubt that a woman’s eye contact and warm smile are potent sexual arousal weapons.  Therefore, don’t hesitate to flash him those pearly whites to nudge him closer to being obsessed with you!

Why a Smile is Attractive

Why a Smile is Attractive

3. 'Mirror' Him

Mirroring is a proven psychological tactic that has been used by body language experts for years.  When performed correctly mirroring is a highly effective psychological trigger that subconsciously makes the person that you are mirroring see you as compatible with them.  This can be a significant step towards a man finding you much more attractive.

To ‘Mirror’ someone is to copy their actions in a subtle, responsive way; if he smiles, you smile; if he sips his drink, you sip your drink etc.

Walking at the pace as him is another way to show him you’re in sync.  If you notice that your guy’s pace slows down then this is a sign that he’s really starting to fall for you.

Mimicking his body language will make him believe that the two of you are on the same wavelength.  This is a powerful psychological technique that will force him to feel attracted to you.

Mirroring Technique

Use the Mirroring Technique

4. Use Flirting Body Language

Research shows that 7% of any message is conveyed through words, 38% through vocal communication, and 55% through non-verbal communication like facial expressions, gestures, posture etc.

Consequently, the most powerful signals that you can send are through your body language.  Obviously, this doesn't mean that you should display your breasts, legs, bottom and neck in an outrageous or salacious manner. Men respond to a flirt, not dirt!  Be classy, be subtle.

Sitting up straight, or leaning back slightly, will both make you seem more confident and show off your most appealing assets.  

When standing, arching your back and throwing back your shoulders will help make your butt look awesome - especially if you wear heels as they automatically put your body in the right shape.

Hair Flicking...

Hair is often one of the parts of the body that men find most attractive, and it can be a powerful tool in flirting.  

Flirty Body Language

Use Flirty Body Language

Twirling a strand of hair or flicking your hair away from your neck or even running your fingers through your hair or flipping your hair lightly... all these non-verbal communication techniques are strong signals that influence the male's subconscious mind in a sexually arousing way.

You can display a powerful sexual confidence in the way you use body language - so why not use it to your advantage?

5. Use The Red Dress Effect

A recent City University of New York study found that wearing red made women more attractive to men.  

“Recent evidence suggests that coloration may serve a purpose in human mating, as female sexual excitement is associated with reddening of the cheeks, neck, and chest.”
Steven G Young, European Journal of Social Psychology.

FACT:  Men are more attracted to women in red.

Red accessories such as lipstick, high heels, scarves, purses etc. are all considered sexier than any other color.  

So, consider leaving your little black dress hanging in your wardrobe if you really want to get your guy’s motor running.

It’s a fact that, if a guy likes you, when you wear a red dress he’ll LOVE you!

The Red Dress Effect

Use The Red Dress Effect

6. Be Mysterious to Him

Men love women to be mysterious.  Research has repeatedly proven that men respond to women that are mysterious, unattainable or seemly uninterested.

Your typical male loves a challenge.

Men are likely to chase a woman who plays hard to get, acts vaguely when it comes to emotions or one who could even be considered out of his league.

So, never let a man know your deepest darkest secrets (until that ring is on your finger of course).

At the beginning of the relationship keep your conversations flirtatious, casual, and non-specific.

Allow him to use his imagination to paint a picture of you in his mind.

Avoid talking about your life story, fears, dreams, and goals.  Tease him by very slowly revealing secrets about you and leave him craving for more.

Be Mysterious to Him

Be Mysterious to Him

7. Use Adrenaline to Attract Him

Studies prove that there is a strong link between sexual arousal and excitement such as fear or anxiety (Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron 1947).

It has long been recognized that when people share a scary experience that they bond emotionally. 

Therefore, if you want your guy to feel attracted to you, you need to take him out of his comfort zone and put some adventure into his life!

Plan a date at an amusement park, or take him skydiving to get his adrenaline pumping.  Natural chemicals will be released into his brain that will make him wonder why he’s always having such a blast when he’s with you!

And you know what that will lead to?  Instant attraction!

Adenaline & Attraction

Adrenaline causes Attraction!

8. Use Physical Warmth

Research by Yale psychologist, John Bargh, concludes that part of our attraction to others is linked to temperature.

For example, holding a warm or cold beverage can influence your judgment of other people.

Therefore, if you are holding a warm beverage you are more likely to view those with you as having warm personalities.

So, if you are going on a date make it a warm place with a warm meal or drink.

Also, whenever you get the opportunity, get as close to your prospective lover as possible.

Remember, close proximity encourages affection and touching is a definite turn on (we all love to cuddle, right?).

Physical Warmth Equals Interpersonal Warmth

Physical Warmth = Interpersonal Warmth

9. Involve Your Mutual Friends

Statistically, you are much more likely to fall in love if you and your guy have mutual friends.  That’s because, subconsciously, we are all wired to trust people that can be vouched for by people we trust.

Try to get introduced to a man you like by a mutual friend or, better still, go on a double date with a couple of friends because your guy will feel more trustworthy and psychologically view you two as a couple.

It will also provide you with an opportunity to show your guy what a nice person you are – you need for your guy to see this trait in order to fall in love with you – so any time you can show him how kind you are, do it.

If he sees you do something kind, or if he hears a story from another person talking about how nice you are, he will be much more likely to feel affection for you. 

Also, if a guy is looking to settle down he’s looking for someone who will be loving and nurturing, so talk about how much you care for others, especially children or animals.   But don’t scare him off by coming across as desperate for an instant family or a crazy cat lady.

Mutual Friends

Mutual Friends

10. Use The Equity Theory of Love

You may have heard men say about their partners “She completes me” or “She makes me ‘whole'” etc.  Psychologists call this the Equity Theory at work.

The behavioral psychologist J. Stacy Adams (1963) discovered that in any relationship people value other people by what they are “bringing to the table” and what their contribution is to the relationship.  

For example, guys are attracted to girls who fill a void that’s missing in their life.  Men are attracted to women who are similar to them but are also looking for someone who can create an equilibrium.

So, if the guy you are attracted to is an introvert it may be your best strategy to act like the extrovert person he wishes he could be.  You will subconsciously be sending him the message “I’ve got what you need”. 

He will feel attracted to you because you provide the missing piece and make him “whole” which will force him to imagine you two as a couple.

The Equity Theory

The Equity Theory

11. Learn How to Text a Guy

You’re tired of waiting for a guy to make the first move?  We live in the 21st century, and there's no rule which says you can't text first.  But, how to text a guy and seem fun, interesting, and awesome?  Believe it or not, it’s super easy to learn how to text a guy you like, and these tips and tricks can help you out.

Be confident.  First things first, you need to be confident and let that confidence show in the text you send. 

Most guys think that bold girls are sexy and attractive, so you don't really need to "hide" your confidence when texting.

You can even start by sending a compliment about a shirt he wore last time you saw him (even if you've completely forgot how it looked).

Just realize that you're awesome and you don't really need to be nervous when texting a guy.

Don’t text “Hi” only.  If you want to learn how to make him obsessed with you through text, then you need to bear in mind that you should never start texting a guy by sending "Hi" only.  

How to Text a Guy

Learn How to Text a Guy

While it may be the easiest way to start a conversation it doesn't showcase your confidence and it's just lazy. 

Be creative. Wish him a good morning, ask whether he slept well, pretend you forgot to watch the latest episode of the TV show he also happens to watch.  Your options are really endless.

Ask him questions.  Probably the easiest way to get a guy to keep texting you is to ask him questions.  These questions can be random, about his day, but they can also be more specific and fun like flirty messages.  Remember, guys love brave girls who know how to flirt but still keep things serious when necessary.

Have a purpose with each text conversation.  Be flirty, but avoid making your conversation about hot messages and flirty texts only.  Wait for him to reply before you text again (don't seem too eager) and never ever text like a teen;  be witty not silly.  Lastly, send a photo occasionally just to remind him what he's missing - a picture is worth a thousand text characters.

Bottom line...  Learning how to text a guy is easy.  Just be confident, let your confidence show, and also make sure he knows you’re witty and smart.  Don’t pretend to be someone you not, the goal is to impress him with who you really are.

12. Be Confident, Not Needy

If you want to make a man obsessed with you, then you may have to be less clingy and give him some room.  Neediness comes from a sense of entitlement and dependency; when you seem unable to live without some sort of input from your partner.

You may need to draw a line between being a caring and loving partner rather than a needy or clingy one.  Cast that neediness aside and enjoy a more fulfilling relationship.

The first step to neediness “recovery” is to admit to yourself that you need to let go a little.  Because, if you think you have every right to completely own your partnerin, then your relationship is doomed.

Sometimes you can get caught up in your feelings for your partner - you might want to spend all your time with them.  However, at some point, they will feel overwhelmed by your constant presence. 

Don’t be afraid to enjoy your own interests, friends or hobbies.  If you really want to make a man obsessed with you create room for him to miss you.  

Men prefer confident, independent women.

Be Confident Not Needy

Be Confident Not Needy

Some men like constant hugs, kisses, late-night calls and intimate cuddles, while others don’t.  If your partner has made their preference apparent (verbally or non-verbally), then try to tone down the adoration you send their way.

13. Be Passionate About What You Love

Passion attracts passion.  Period.  People tend to gravitate towards passionate people.

When you display your passion for your hobbies, work, interests, and other things, you also demonstrate the capacity to be passionate towards people you love.  That includes the man in your life.

What’s more, passion is infectious.  Your passion can pull other people around you in a swirl and introduce them to things you love, opening up a whole new world of fun, excitement, and happiness for them.  

You can inspire people with your passion.

In short, passionate people are more interesting, more expressive of their emotions, and are not afraid to be who they are.  

Who doesn’t love that?!

When you bring the same passion to your relationship, it can make a man obsessed with you.  Whatever you have going on between each other, passion amplifies it.  

Be Passionate

Be Passionate About What You Love

Relationships between passionate people are heady, and almost addictive.  Passion can make sex earth-shattering for both of you.  Who wants to come down from such a high!  Naturally, it can make a man obsessed with you.

When you display your passion to your man, you show him your heart.  In return, he’ll give you his everything.

 Be passionate.  Show him you give your 100% to everything you love.

14. Don't Always be Available

You are an emotionally mature woman who doesn’t like playing mind games with your man.  That’s a good thing.  However, some mind games are necessary to keep the spark alive.

One golden rule of dating is – never be too available.  Never come off as desperate.  It’s an instant turnoff and you may lose him forever.

Why should you not always be available?  Here’s why:

  • Men have always loved the damsel in distress role we women play.  But, when you overdo it, you come off as needy.  Nobody wants to get into a codependent relationship.
  • If you are always available to him he’ll begin to think that you have no life or that your entire world revolves around him.
  • You might end up sending wrong signals that you are at a much farther point in your relationship than where you two actually are.  That’ll scare the hell out of any man.

If you want to make a man obsessed over you, then be aloof sometimes.  

Don't Always be Available

Don't Always be Available

Sometimes, being unavailable can evoke hidden desires and a sense of craving for your attention.  Once he starts missing you, he’ll start valuing more the time you spend with him.  He’ll respect you for having a life outside his sphere.  And he’ll know that you are spending time with him because you want to.

 That’s how you make a man obsessed with you – by saying 'NO' sometimes.

15. Don’t be PUSHY

How can a woman make a man obsessed with her?  Being pushy rarely gets the job done.  While some men may like their women to be spirited, no man wants a control freak.

Instead, choose a more subtle way to gain his affection.  Hide your assertiveness at the beginning of a relationship.  It is much safer to reveal your control issues when you have established a relationship.

Sure, be confident.  When you want anything in life, it is better to go for it, but being loud, opinionated and pushy is not attractive. 

Speak in a soft voice with a smile when you converse with him – it’ll get you whatever you want from a man, including his heart.

A woman who is enjoying her life is ultra-attractive to men, because it makes them think they’ll have fun with her.  

If you are fun to be with, he will want to be with you.

Do your research, find out his interests and hobbies and show interest in those.  Find out your common interests – don’t force your likes, dislikes and opinions on him.

Don't be Pushy

Don't be Pushy

You’ll pique his interest if you appear to be a happy person who shares a lot in common with him.  If you want a man to be obsessed with you, being subtle is more effective than being pushy.

16. Don't Put Him on a PEDESTAL

Your man is human, not a god.  Sure, he might make you laugh, care for you, and is there for you every time you need him… that still makes him human.

Relationships work when both of you respect each other.  It’s not a one-way thing, it’s a two-way thing.  If you put him on a pedestal it will have disastrous consequences on your relationship.  It doesn’t matter how good, considerate or charming he is.  One-way respect is borderline worship, and that’s a surefire way to kill a relationship.  

When both of you respect each other equally, he appreciates your time, your affection, your attention, and your love. When you shower him with everything you can give without asking for anything in return, he will not value YOU.

When you worship a man like a god, you essentially make a man obsessed with living up to your expectations.  The sheer weight of it all – the effort of striving for perfection – will exhaust him and break him down.  He may even start to resent you for it.

The more you idolize him, the more he’ll try to hide his fears, errors, and shortcomings.  You will be forcing him to be an imaginary, ideal person that you have in your head.  

In fact, he might start feeling less worthy of you because he’s not what you think him to be.

Don't put him on a PEDESTAL

Don't put him on a PEDESTAL

Remember, your man is flawed, and it’s okay.  If you want to make a man obsessed with you, accept him for who he is.  He’ll love you for it.

17. Investigate the Competition

Here’s a powerful strategy that will help make your man obsessed about you – investigate the competition.  If you want to charm a man, then you learn from those that he finds charming.

Be aware of the women (onscreen as well as in real life) that tickle your man’s fancy.  Analyze their behavior, find out why your man likes them, and try to emulate them.

Watch for His Type

Most men have a ‘type’ – the type of girls they like.  

If you observe the kind of girls that your man likes, you’ll notice some patterns – their hairstyles, the clothes they wear, their flirting style, or even their priorities in life.

Emulating even a few of those characteristics will get your man’s attention.  

In fact, men are smart (no matter what we girls say) and will love you more for the effort you put in.

Investigate the Competition

Investigate the Competition

Understand His Idea of Sexy

What is sexy for men?  Every man is different.  For some, short skirts and tight blouses turn them on.  While for others, the librarian look is hot.  Then there are men who cannot resist the innocent beauty of the girl-next-door look.  Understand what he likes.

Once you begin to understand what your man likes in women, you can be his perfect woman – that’s how to make a man obsessed about you.

18. Learn to be a TEASE

Amp up your sex life with sweet torture that builds up anticipation in your man and makes him crave for your touch, the heat from your body, and your raw, sensual love.  That’s how you make a man obsessed with you.

Men love teasing.  For most men, a woman in a tight dress or bikini is sexier than a woman in her birthday suit.  Men obsess over what they can’t see rather than what they can.  

The Right Dress

If you want to arouse him, pick the right dress.  It does not even have to be too revealing; just the right kind of revealing.  

Know what your man loves to see – your cleavage, butt, legs – and highlight them.

Pose and Show

A man loves a woman who is confident in her body.  

If you can put on a little show for him, that’s a surefire way to make a man obsessed with you.  Just send him a picture and wait for the call.  

Learn to be a Tease

Learn to be a Tease

Send Him Seductive Messages 

Don’t take up too much of his time or annoy him with a constant barrage of messages.  Just a handful of RIGHT messages will amp up his libido and keep him craving for the sweet release that only you can give him.

19. Let Him be a Hero

Not all heroes wear capes.  A man feels positive energy when doing ‘heroic’ things for the one he loves.  So, reward him with a ‘Thank you’, a smile or a kiss whenever he does something heroic, even if it’s just scooping a spider out of the bath.

Never make the mistake of thinking that you are less powerful because you let your man protect you.  Allow him to express his love for you with little heroic acts - these little things matter to him.

Allow him to express his love for you in the simplest ways:  fixing things, helping you, opening a jar or a car door etc.  These little things make a man feel like a hero.

Be open about how much you value him.  Words of affirmation are never forgotten. 

Lean on him.  Then, watch the hero in him come alive before your eyes.

Treat him like a hero, and he will defend and protect you every way he can.

Many times, women don’t know what a man wants.  “How do I get into the core of my man and make him adore me?”

The answer is simple – let him be a hero.

Let Him be a HERO

Let Him be a HERO

By confirming him as your hero he’ll get a buzz out of your positive feedback and rewards.  That’s how you’ll get him hooked on you.

20. Respect Yourself

To make a man obsessed with you, you need to respect yourself.  Men want a woman who is happy with herself and respects herself.  Think about it…  why would a man respect or love you if you don’t love or respect yourself?

 When you respect yourself, you send a clear message to your man that you value yourself.  In turn, expect the same respect from him.

Revealing your feelings slowly to him is sound advice; it shows him that the more he earns your respect, the more you will open up to him.  If you give away too much of yourself too quickly, he will value you less.

Making him earn everything you wish to give him will demonstrate that you don’t give up things easily; he needs to work for it.  This also attracts men with higher self-esteem as they believe that they deserve you for the work put in.

Many women rush into a relationship.  They'll be too eager to spend all their time with the man they like.  Or, worse, fall in bed with them before testing their integrity. 

Never be impulsive or come across as desperate.  

Respect Yourself

Respect Yourself

Build a sound foundation for your relationship by showing mutual respect.  If you don't respect yourself you can never make a man obsessed with you, ever. 

21. Take Care of Yourself

Nothing can make a man obsessed with you more than a happy, healthy, and sexy-looking YOU.  So, what does “taking care of yourself” mean exactly?

Manage Your Weight

An overweight body can be a turnoff for many men.  So, follow a diet, hit the gym, or just manage your calorie intake.  Do whatever works for you, as long as it keeps your weight in check.

The extra fat not only brings down your sex appeal but hurts your health too.  When you feel good inside, you look great outside too.

Relax

Quarrels and fights are part and parcel of every relationship.  Find ways to calm yourself, relax, and then approach each other respectfully.  Take a nap, meditate, spoil yourself with a pleasant bath.  Visit the spa if you want.  

Look, Smell, and Feel Awesome

Clothes, makeup, and hair – invest in them.  Treat yourself to clothes that look stunning and feel great.  You must be comfortable in them.  

Most importantly, take care of the hair “down there”.  Some men love it when it’s clean-shaved; some others have a hair fetish; some like a cute landing strip.  Know what your man likes and surprise him with it.

Take Care of Yourself

Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself will make you look sexy and feel sexy.  That will instantly make a man obsessed with you.

Final Tip:

Don't always respond immediately, you have a life, and he should know it.

Can You Really Make a Man Obsessed With You?

These psychological triggers can help you get noticed and may help you get into the mind of the guy you would like to become close to.  This initial stage of attraction is always the most difficult phase to overcome.

Once you have got past this level of closeness you can reveal your more genuine traits. If he likes the real you, warts and all, then you can enjoy an even more profound level of attraction and even the deepest of loving relationships – you may even make a man obsessed with you!

If you really want to make him fall in love then take a look at this:  His Secret Obsession, which you can buy here.   If you want to learn more about this product I have a review where I go more in depth:  His Secret Obsession review here.

Womens' Dating Advice Writer

Ana Smith - Dating Advice Writer

Ana is an expert relationship adviser with a proven record of helping thousands of women find a loving partner.  About herself she says "I'm passionate about two things; helping women find happiness and chocolate".
She has been a full-time, professional relationship expert, writer, and author for over four years. 
Her own lessons in love qualify her to give the best dating advice on the internet.  Still single, she's enjoying the dating game.  When Ana isn't working she likes reading, social networking and listening (and singing along) to music.  Ana is based in San Antonio, Texas.

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