Guest Post By Slade Shaw
Author of Why Men Pull Away
"You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand."
- L.J. Smith
Tessa, a tech support specialist from Melbourne in her late twenties, has an active social life.
She often goes to sci-fi conventions, regularly holds video game marathons at her place and meets a lot of people who share the same interests - including guys.
As it was, Tessa had been single for some time and was hoping to find a partner who could complement her personality. And even though she had a lot in common with the guys in her social circles, she couldn't quite hit it off romantically with any of them.
So it was a complete surprise when Ben came along and swept Tessa off her feet.
"He's super active in the local sports scene and is very athletic, so he wasn't my type at all...or so I thought," Tessa shared with a girlish smile.
They met by chance at a charity auction set up by mutual friends, and they clicked the moment they met.
"I couldn't put my finger on it at first, but I knew right away he was different, and in a good way," she gushed.
"He wasn't like any other guy I've met, and I don't think it had anything to do with our interests. Ben has this energy and warmth about him that I absolutely LOVE."
How to spot The One
Their worlds were pretty far removed from each other, but that didn't stop Tessa from falling hard for Ben.
It's surprising how couples who seem like polar opposites at first turn out to be a perfect fit.
And most of the time, it can be a tricky business to figure out if a certain guy is a good match for you.
Considering his unique personality and quirks - along with the whole deal about mixed signals - it's hard to sift through all of that and see the signs he's MEANT for you.
So how can you tell he's your Mr. Right... or if you should keep looking?
Read on to find out...
Sign #1: He's got your back
One thing I've noticed in a lot of couples who've been together for years is how supportive they are of each other.
It's always a good sign when a guy endlessly encourages his partner to pursue her interests and passions - no matter how "out there" they might seem.
If you see that your guy is always trying to push you forward in a HEALTHY direction - especially when you doubt yourself - that's a clear indication he's a good match for you.
When looking for a partner, it's important to find someone who wants to see you GROW and evolve. A guy who acts as a positive force in your life is worth keeping around.
Sign #2: He's part of your world
Like Tessa learned, hitting it off doesn't have much to do with how similar your personalities or interests are.
Sure, having stuff in common makes it easier to break the ice, but in the long run it's not going to keep the relationship going.
The more important factor is how willing he is to be part of your life anyway.
Tessa recalled fondly: "Ben didn't know the first thing about Star Wars, or sci-fi movies in general, but he went with me to the midnight screening of The Force Awakens with my geek friends... and we even wore matching Jedi outfits! I didn't ask Ben to do that, but he suggested the idea and I loved him for that..." If he's into you, he'll care about the things you do. He'll spend his time on them because he knows those things make you, YOU.
And that's exactly what he wants to be part of - your fun and happening life.
Sign#3: You share a special bond
You know how some couples almost seem to know what the other is thinking without saying a word?
It's amazing - and a little eerie - to see them connect at this level that no one else can.
It's not ESP or some other supernatural phenomenon - some people are empathic this way and have a kind of radar for it.
Your guy doesn't have to be psychic or have a sixth sense, nor should you expect him to be.
But if he has the awareness to at least ask you if you're ok, then that's the sign of a concerned - and CONNECTED - partner.
This is the kind of man who can sense that's there's something amiss in your inner world and respond to it.
When he picks up on your signals, he won't just ask if you're doing alright...
...he'll also want to help you get out of your funk, get the proverbial fly out of your soup...
...and basically do anything to make you right as rain again.
And the fact that he cares about what you're feeling or thinking speaks volumes of the kind of guy he is.
Sign #4: He's making the EFFORT
If a guy's important to you, he'll always be working overtime to make sure you're happy.
Men are big on making their partner feel provided for and protected, so he's going to do this in every way he can.
If he's not making plans with you and create amazing, shared experiences together...
...he'll try to help you with something that's bugging you, like your fixing your smartphone or running some errand you hate.
A guy worth keeping is one who'll do anything to take the load off your mind and make your life easier.
Another thing you might notice is how a guy will do things with you on a regular basis.
He'll take you out for morning coffee, walk your dog with you every Saturday or schedule a monthly expedition at his favorite camping spot.
If he does this, take note, because a man doesn't change his schedule that easily.
Only a guy who's in "single" mode will insist on keeping his appointments as they are.
A guy IN LOVE, on the other hand, will suddenly have all the reasons in the world to make his schedule more flexible than a contortionist at the circus.
More than that, he wants to create a shared life with you.
So it's not just what he does - it's also the amount of time he gives up and trouble he goes through in the name of your happiness.
This is one of the most precious gifts he could give anyone.
Sign #5: He makes everything AWESOME
Even the most boring, everyday things become amazing when you're with him.
Maybe you need to run to the store to get pasta noodles or pick up a package at the post office - but you wouldn't miss it for the world if he offers to go with you.
You're so attracted to each other that everything else seems to fade into the background when you're together.
He wants to know every little you were up to today, and likewise for you.
That's what being soulmates is all about - he turns the mundane into the magical by simply being there.
And when you're having the worst of days, you STILL want him around because you know he's such a positive presence in your life.
He's there to hear you rant about the crazy drama you had with a co-worker, or some other struggle you're going through.
Whatever it is, he's all ears and isn't itching to jump in with a solution to your problems.
He'll sit back, listen quietly and only speak after you're done talking.
He'll only offer his opinion when you ask for it and always make you feel like he's hearing you out.
All of these add up to the unmistakable fact that you've found The One.
Finding this kind of connection with a man is RARE, so you should pay attention when he's showing you the right signs.
More importantly, you need to make sure that spark keeps burning bright and strong with your Mr. Right.
I've seen a lot of couples who were perfect for each other, but drift apart for one reason or another.
Maybe he's not as affectionate as he was before...
...or the passion has faded...
...or he's simply going through the motions.
Worse, it might even seem that he's pulling away.
If you have a terrible feeling in the pit if your stomach that you can't ignore any longer, then it's time to know the REAL reasons Why Men Pull Away.
I've put together a video that explains exactly how to recapture your man's heart before it's TOO LATE:
Watch my free presentation NOW and learn exactly what pushes men to leave...and how to NEVER feel abandoned or rejected - CLICK HERE...